#16

After photoshoot number 15, I felt it more than necessary to get in front of the lens myself. The reasons for this were firstly to avoid hypocracy, and secondly, experience the "catharsis" my volunteers told me they felt from participating in my project. My good friend who also created the Love the Pudge documentary with me offered to photograph the session.

It wasn't until I was in front of the camera's lens that I fully understood what had been expressed to me prior. For the duration of the shoot, the focus was entirely on the nudging insecurities that usually only live in my thoughts. These inhibitions I traditionally hide behind a smile were now being displayed in front of a white curtain and a blinding light. As I posed exposing my "pouchy" stomach and "fatty" upper arms, a feeling of resentment faded into pure freedom. I tucked my tank top as much as I could, revealing everything that I routinely work to hide on a daily basis.

When we reviewed the pictures, my insecurities had not been magically obliterated, nor was I left with an extreme confidence-boost, however, what it did give me was a sense of empowerment. I was enlightened because for once, I was interpreting my body not as the owner, but from a fresh, outside perspective.